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Ah, Starmer’s Britain. A place where the potholes are deep enough to double as bunkers in case we’re attacked by the Russians, where the border is more of a polite ‘please keep of the grass’ sign that everybody ignores, and where you’re more likely to get arrested for mean tweets than for actual crimes. Welcome to the land of the two-tier justice system, failed immigration policies, and roads so cratered that NASA could use them for Mars landing practice. All this, courtesy of our Consocialist and Labour politicians who for decades have preached austerity to the rest of us, while they themselves enjoy a free lunch, designer glasses and VIP football tickets from their powerful friends.

What a time to be living in the UK—or at least, what a time to be sitting on a three-year NHS waiting list for knee surgery while trying not to think thoughts that might land you in jail!

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“Some would say you have a higher chance of being arrested for making an offensive joke than for burglarising someone’s house”.

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Two-Tier Justice: Crime and Punishment (Or Lack Thereof)

Yes, welcome to Starmer’s Britain, where if you’re part of the political elite or a social media influencer, justice comes with a slap on the wrist and perhaps a cozy interview on a talk show. If you’re a regular ‘Mrs Jones’ caught driving 33 mph in a 30 zone, expect the full wrath of the law. The police are now fully geared up—to monitor X (formerly Twitter) and fine people for inappropriate opinions. In fact, some would say you have a higher chance of being arrested for making an offensive joke than for burglarising someone’s house.

Just look at the statistics: conviction rates for burglaries have plummeted, with less than 5% of cases resulting in charges, while hate speech arrests have increased by over 30% in some areas. So, while burglary goes unchecked and social media policing thrives, the next time you hear a noise downstairs, just hope it’s not the “meme police” knocking.

Jokes aside, this is serious. In October 2024 a British army veteran was convicted of criminal charges for praying silently near an abortion clinic. Think about that for a second. No words were spoken, no hate speech made (in fact he was praying for these women out of love, not against them), and yet Starmer’s Geheime Staatspolizei arrested him. The man, Adam Smith-Connor did not attempt to harass, intimidate, or interact in any way with those entering the clinic. Instead, he wordlessly prayed with his head bowed slightly. He wasn’t even on clinic property—he was outside the sightline of the clinic itself, according to the Alliance Defending Freedom (ADF), a religious freedom group.

This is indeed chilling.

Free ‘Gifts’ and the Hypocrisy Parade

Meanwhile, if there’s one thing our esteemed Labour ministers do well, it’s enjoying the finer things in life—preferably for free. Starmer himself may preach about levelling the playing field, but let’s be real: that playing field is mostly reserved for golf outings at some luxury resort, probably paid for by the likes of Waheed Alli. Ministers have been caught accepting all manner of gifts, from vacations in Ibiza to flats in New Yorks, to VIP tickets to sporting events.

But fear not! They assure us that all these freebies don’t affect their impartial decision-making. After all, nothing says integrity like lecturing the public about fiscal responsibility while peering through the lens of designer glasses, paid for by. Yep you’ve guessed it, Waheed Ali.

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Immigration and Border Controls: Everyone’s Welcome!

In Starmer’s Britain we might as well have a gigantic banner reading “the more, the merrier” flying high over the white cliffs of Dover. I want to talk about the Borders? But what borders am I meant to talk about? There are none. Despite promises of tightened controls, the UK’s immigration system is about as water-tight as a sieve. In 2022, over 45,000 people crossed the English Channel illegally, and that’s just who were picked up by the Coast Guard. While there is no definitive figure for the number of undocumented people in the UK, estimates suggest it is now between 800,000 and 1.2 million people.

Australia, in contrast, has shown how border control is done. Its Operation Sovereign Borders policy, which included turning back boats and detaining illegal entrants, significantly reduced illegal immigration . Meanwhile, in Britain, we have opted for an approach that’s more “come one, come all”—a wonderful sentiment unless you’re trying to access public services that are already overstretched, buy a house, or access healthcare.

NHS Waiting Lists: Is 2027 a Good Year for You?

There’s nothing quite like waiting. Waiting for a bus, waiting for your Amazon package, or waiting until 2027 for a simple GP appointment. In Starmer’s Britain, NHS waiting lists have ballooned to 7.6 million people . That’s more than 7 times the population of The NHS itself. The NHS, once the pride of Britain, now resembles a creaking relic of a bygone era, where seeing a specialist is starting to feel like winning the lottery.

Other countries like Germany have managed to reform their health systems, mixing public and private sectors to reduce waiting times and improve efficiency. So why can’t we? Maybe because the Consocialist and Labour politicians have been too busy fixing imaginary problems, or investing in our Thought Police, or in Diversity Officers, while the actual problems ones pile up like, well, patients in a hospital corridor.

The State of the Roads: An Obstacle Course for Drivers

If you live in North Yorkshire and car’s suspension still functions, congratulations—you’re one of the lucky ones. In Starmer’s Britain we seem to have adopted the approach that potholes build character. Roads have been left in such a state of disrepair that Councillor Keane Duncan, Executive Member for Highways and Transportation on North Yorkshire Council, is probably just waiting for them to collapse entirely so the Council can rebrand them as ‘natural features’ of the Yorkshire landscape.

According to the Annual Local Authority Road Maintenance Survey, it would take over £12 billion to bring UK roads back to a “reasonable” standard. In contrast, countries like Switzerland are constantly ranked among the best in the world for road quality, thanks to targeted investments and streamlined regulations. Meanwhile, in Britain, we’re left bouncing from pothole to pothole. One could argue that a suspension upgrade should come standard with every MOT.

Housing Crisis: Welcome to ‘Cramped Britain’

The UK is facing a housing shortage, and surprise! The government’s open-door immigration policy isn’t helping. With demand far outstripping supply, house prices are skyrocketing, and home ownership is becoming a distant dream for many Brits. Last year, net migration hit 685,000 (Migration Observatory) with many of those new arrivals needing housing (Tax Foundation). House demand comes from population growth. 60-70% of population growth is now coming from immigration (expected to reach 90% in the years ahead). It is a logical conclusion that immigration is the main cause of housing shortage in the UK.

But wait, I speak too soon because Starmer has a plan: build more homes on green belts, drive up our council taxes, and… oh, wait, that sounds exactly like what the Consocialists were doing before him. Australia again offers an example here: by reforming land use regulations, it has significantly boosted housing construction in urban area (World Bank). In contrast, in the UK, the government continues with a blatant open-door immigration policy, dithers on the illegal boats issue, meanwhile British residents are forced to live in homeless centres.

High Taxes and Public Finances: The Never-Ending Squeeze

And yet, despite all these glaring issues, in Starmer’s Britain the Chancellor finds time to squeeze every penny she can out of the taxpayer. The UK now has the highest tax burden since World War II, with tax revenues accounting for 36.4% of GDP (Tax Foundation). And yet, public services are crumbling, potholes are the norm, and the NHS is bursting at the seams. So, where’s the money going? Well, it’s apparently being carefully managed by folk who can’t balance a cheque book without losing a billion or two. Take the one most notable government project in last decade, HS2. It was originally forecasted to cost £32.7 billion, but now is expected to cost over £100 billion – a stark reminder that state management of finance typically ends in tears.

Contrast this with Estonia, where a flat tax and efficient public spending have created a low-tax, high-growth economy (Tax Foundation). Estonia might be smaller, but their public finances are a lot healthier—and they aren’t saddled with a deficit larger than an Amazon warehouse (The UK’s annual deficit is an eyewatering £120 billion, with the nation’s national debt now standing at £2.8 trillion. The UK government now pays over £100 billion each year in interest on this debt).

Defence: Diversity Over Security

When your country’s defence strategy starts to resemble a university diversity brochure, you know you’re in trouble. In Starmer’s Britain we seem more concerned with having the “right” ratio of ethnic minorities and gender representation in the military than ensuring national security. Meanwhile, countries like Israel, which maintains a laser focus on security first, diversity second, are able to deter serious threats (Brookings). Here in the UK, we seem to be betting that a diverse military will stop foreign adversaries in their tracks.

Free Speech and Individual Rights: An Endangered Species

Finally, let’s not forget the slow but steady erosion of free speech. Whether it’s censorship on social media, or legislation aimed at curbing dissent under the guise of ‘hate speech laws’, free expression is on life support. The Online Safety Act (2023) threatens to make the UK one of the most restrictive places in the Western world for online speech. In creating a new offense for transmitting false communications, punishable with fines or up to 51 weeks in prison, the OSA is a dangerous piece of legislation. The criteria for what constitutes a false statement are subjective, and the Act opens up the possibility of prison sentences for ordinary men and women who happen to write content that is not aligned to the Newspeak of Big Brother Starmer.

The Online Safety Act should be appealed in full, or amended, restoring British democratic right to free speech to every citizen of the country.

Contrast this with Denmark, where free speech is robustly defended and where they believe that a healthy democracy can withstand a few spicy tweets. In Starmer’s Britain, however, the greatest threat to society is apparently a controversial meme.

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The Solution: Small Government, Individual Freedom and Personal Responsibility

So what’s the answer to this mess? It’s simple: less government and more individual freedom. We need to trim the bureaucracy, get government out of people’s lives, cut taxes, and let people take control of their own affairs. A smaller government, like Switzerland’s, focuses on local solutions and individual responsibility, which results in higher productivity and a better quality of life.

A flat tax, like Estonia’s, would make the tax system fairer and more transparent. Let’s stop pouring billions into failed immigration policies and utopian state projects like HS2, and instead focus on making the UK a place where private investment and businesses thrive, families can afford homes, and the roads don’t resemble a lunar landscape.

Starmer’s Britain might well be dominated by an over-reaching Orwellian Establishment, bloated by decades feasting on the nation’s cake, but it is high time to put Government on a strict diet, and hand the cake back to the British people.

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References

Institute of Economic Affairs (IEA). “Tax and Economic Growth.” IEA Report Series, 2023. Accessed via https://iea.org.uk.

Tax Foundation. “Corporate Tax Cuts and Their Effects on Economic Performance.” Tax Foundation Journal of Economic Policy, 2023. Accessed via https://taxfoundation.org.

UK Office for National Statistics (ONS). “UK Crime and Justice Statistics, 2022.” Accessed September 2023. Available at https://ons.gov.uk.

Ministry of Defence, UK. “Diversity and Inclusion Annual Report.” MOD Public Report, 2022. Retrieved from https://mod.uk.

Migration Observatory, University of Oxford. “Trends in UK Migration and Population Growth.” 2023. Accessed via https://migrationobservatory.ox.ac.uk.

NHS England. “Monthly Performance and Waiting Times.” NHS Statistics Report, June 2023. Available at https://nhs.uk.

OECD. “Comparative Analysis of Public Healthcare Models.” OECD Health Statistics, 2022. Accessed via https://oecd.org.

Annual Local Authority Road Maintenance (ALARM) Survey. “UK Road Quality and Maintenance Needs,” 2023. Accessed via https://asphaltuk.org.

House of Commons Library. “Housing Supply and Demand in the UK.” House of Commons Research Briefings, 2022. Retrieved from https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk.

Transparency International UK. “Gift Acceptance and Public Sector Integrity.” Transparency Report, 2023. Accessed via https://transparency.org.uk.

Tax Foundation. “Estonia’s Flat Tax Model and Economic Efficiency.” Economic Analysis Report, 2022. Available at https://taxfoundation.org.

Brookings Institution. “National Security Models: A Comparative Approach.” Brookings Research Papers, 2023. Accessed via https://brookings.edu.

UK Parliament. “Online Safety Bill Analysis and Legislative Overview.” House of Commons Publications, 2023. Available at https://parliament.uk.

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